Oh well.

http://www.ohio.com/mld/ohio/15334561.htm

BFF? I'm jus' keeeeeding!

Usually Myspace is pretty stupid. Sure I'm on it, but whatever. (Look, practically everyone uses it. Hell, Satan has several hundred pages)

I mostly use it to listen to fresh new music, read enjoyable blog entries and/or to have fake women solicit me for weird sex I'll never have (it is good for my ego, though. Ripping off Clerks II for that joke was not).

Anyway!

So I made this cool new "friend" the other day. That friend is Fred Armisenof Saturday Night Live. Now (cue Troy McClure voice), you may remember him from such characters as Prince, Nooney, and Fericito the Venezuelan nightclub owner. He's really one of the few people on the current cast of SNL I can tolerate (with Bill Hader being the other).

Fred, I can use first name because we're totally pals, is in this new movie Quebec, which will be out next summer. I'm really looking forward to this flick because besides Old Freddy, it also has John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer and Sean William Scott. I let Fred know of my anticipation and he was kind of enough to drop a line back. What a swell guy!

So, basically, in a long-winded way that last sentence was the whole point. Fred Armisen, my new friend, is a good guy.

Little Miss Sunshine

This movie is pretty much the hottest thing going. It starts Greg Kinnear, Alan Arkin, Toni Colette and Steve Carell. Nine-year-old Abigail Breslin supposedly steals the show.

The basic, quick glance idea of the movie is that it's a family driving cross country to get their daughter (Breslin) into a beauty pageant. I hear it can be pretty emotional and life-affirming. So this isn't just some cookie-cutter film. There's a real heart to it, I've been told. It was a hit at Sundance and Cannes, to boot.

Here is the trailer. I love it, of course, because it combines three of my favorite things in life. 1) Carell 2) The Flaming Lips' "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" and 3) Sufjan Stevens. How glorious.

Trendspotting dump

The time I caught a foul ball

Watching Cleveland Indians baseball this season is rough. Going to a live game can be excrutiating. The team is awful with only a few mild flashes of brilliance (that sports cliche was brought to you by any television sports commentator, lords of the overuse).

One of those notables is young pitcher Jeremy Sowers. So, when my old pal Miles asked if I wanted to catch a Sowers-pitched game Friday, I gladly obliged. To my excitement, he scored some great seats 25 rows directly behind home plate. Gotta love corporate season tickets.

So it was the seventh inning. I was starting to think of what stretches to pull off after the half inning. It would have been the most exciting part to an otherwise dull contest.

Then, with Indians castoff Eduardo Perez at the plate, a ball was cracked right to me. I raised my strangly long and obviously sexy arms into the air waiting for the ball to land in my hands. I also braced myself for a collision. If some idiots can smash little kids into the concrete going after the ball, surely someone would knock me to the ground. Well, apparently everyone was scared of how hard I'd kick their ass because the ball smacked right into my hands. No bouncing, I'm a real man.

Never catch a ball and wonder what it feels like? When you're driving home, go about 20 miles per hour and slap a mailbox. It's the exact same feeling.

What a greaet night. There were fireworks and everything! The real surprise was the Indians winning 1-0.

Joker picked

Heath Ledger, he of Brokeback Mountain fame, has been tabbed as the Joker in the next Batman movie.

I'm indifferent about the pick. Ledger isn't that awful, right? Seriously, who else is realistically a better pick? Besides, check out Ledger in Ten Things I Hate About You, he practically looks like the Joker without makeup on:

A doozy.

Here is why you shouldn't like Korn (like you needed another reason): Their fans are crazy. The band headlined an Atlanta show recently. I'm sure the usual took place. Bad music? Check! Dirty fans? Check! Lots of alcohol and drug abuse? Check! Bad music? Double check! Mosh pit craziness? Check!

I'm sure you're down with mosh pit craziness. You go to a show and see a bunch of idiots smashing each other near the stage, but you stay out because, well, you're smart. Of course the slam dancers get bruised, maybe even bloodied.

Andy Richardson was rendered brain dead.

How'd that happen? The story makes it hard to tell if Richardson was actually involved in the moshing, but Richardson reportedly asked two guys to take it easy. Take it easy a Korn show? That's like telling Paris Hilton to not be a skank, ever. Anyway, after Richardson told these two to chill, one of them pounded him in the back of head causing him to fall flat on his face. What a doof! No one can be careful at a Korn show, right? Well, Richardson had good enough intentions.

Richardson had asked the men to be careful not to hurt his pregnant girlfriend and a mentally challenged child accompanying them.

OK. While his intentions were good, why on Earth was he bringing a mentally challenged kid and his pregnant girlfriend to a Korn show? Babies can hear through the womb!

Richardson, 30, is currently on life support so doctors can harvest his organs. The phrase "harvest his organs" always sounds so much worse than it is.

Ever sympathetic, Korn had no comment. Nice touch, Jonathan Davis. Can't even just bother to give the typical star response of "My sympathies go out to his family and friends."


Links: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1537547/20060801/korn.jhtml?headlines=true http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/0801metbeating.html?imw=Y

No way!

Today, Lance Bass of 'N Sync announced that he is gay.

That guy in the below picture? Unbelievable.



Story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060726/ap_en_ot/people_lance_bass_2

My thought on Clerks II

New Keys

And I don't mean Alicia! Oh man, that was a good one.

Anyway, Akron blues rockers the Black Keys have posted four songs off their new album Magic Potion on their Myspace page.

No word on when the band will play Akron again. I'd love to see them play the Akron Civic sometime. If Beck and the Flaming Lips can play the Palace Theatre, certainly the Keys could do the Civic. Not that I'd probably be able to get in. Getting into a Keys show anywhere in Northeastern Ohio is near impossible. When the band last played the Lime Spider, a line stretched down Main Street. It was pretty ridiculous, but fantastic at the same time.

I would add more comments about the songs, but frankly I listened to them a few days ago and can't remember them all that well. Why don't I just go to their Myspace page? Well, because the stupid site won't load.

What I do remember is enjoying the songs. One of them was a slow jam that I didn't much care for. Another was this up-tempo number that had me wiggling in my desk. Once the site loads, I'll give them another listen and drop some real opinion.

Turtle power is back

I'm totally pumped about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie out next summer. Dig the sweet trailer. I just looks like it's going to be done the right way, unlike that live-action Turtles show from a few years ago.

Word is that the movie will have Casey Jones, so that kind of stinks. But I have the highest hope overall. With any hope, they'll get as much of the original cartoon voices to do it. It's going to be totally CGI, which is really the only way to do the movie.